10/31/2015 0 Comments The Journey of Taking My Life BackA few weeks ago, I lost someone who was a big part of my life. I also lost the structure and routine that I had created. I had spent so much time and placed so much effort into this relationship, that with him gone, I had a gaping hole in my stomach. And I needed to fill it...quickly. I took down photos and erased messages, deleting his existence from my life. But then I was left with more holes and my search for something fulfilling and concrete was turning up zilch. I tried to turn to friends (amazing, supportive, beautiful friends) but sadly they alone weren't enough. So I just started filling my days with meaningless tasks and hopping around from one activity to another, hoping to exhaust myself and create a distraction from the still-existing hole in my life. But it didn't work. All it did was make me tired and grumpy, wanting to go to bed at 6pm. The days seemed to go by slowly and I found myself waiting for it to be a reasonable time to say goodnight to the world. After some bad nights, I finally came to the conclusion that I had to stop looking outside and look to myself. I started creating a new structure, a new routine, and a new plan for a journey back to myself. I started waking up before 9am every day, even on the weekends. I decided to start my day with actually eating breakfast instead of nibbling on a protein bar. I would then write down 5 things I was grateful for in order to create a positive start to my day and I would put away my phone for the first hour of the morning. After all, those people could wait. I finally realized that I am the most important person to myself. I started to do what I realized I had wanted to do all along. I began projects that I never followed-up on (like this blog). I placed myself in new situations, pushing the boundaries of life and myself. I spent time with new people, people who were aching for life and painting their identities. I started to exercise more; I went back to church and found hope and courage in God. I took time to read the Bible, free write, cook for myself, and journal every day. I was slowly coming back to myself...or maybe even recreating myself. In addition to looking to other people to inspire me, I decided to give myself that responsibility as well. What makes me not worthy of admiration? Nothing. And there is no need to be ashamed of that as well. I am PROUD of who I am today and what I have come from. I can truly say that I love my life right now. Sure, not every day is good, and sometimes my routine habits can get a little boring, dry, or just tiring. But my routine is a structure and structures allow for fluidity. I completely and entirely expect to screw up, and that's what makes life so much better now.
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10/31/2015 0 Comments New Poem: AloneI’m left alone
Left to defend myself Not even given a sword To protect a body I’ve been showing off to the world And then hiding under a big coat of depression Why do you leave me alone? Leave me with only my books When we know that everything beats paper Except rock We’re not in the dark ages And no one is going to stone me For my promiscuity Right? When you leave me alone I am not alone I am swarmed with thoughts and guilt I am slapped by boredom and caffeine at the same time I am overwhelmed by giant waves Taking me out of my room Then bringing me back in If only I really could be left alone Where you leave me alone Is not my home And so I cannot cozy up to the wall that I puked on When I hosted my first party And I cannot snuggle with the stuffed animal My ex-boyfriend gave me That I promised to burn five years ago I cannot smell my mother I cannot feel my father I cannot Why you leave me alone I do not know I’ve been writing you letters while you’re gone But I keep forgetting you can’t read crazy So what’s the point anymore? I cannot speak to you I cannot I cannot I cannot I cannot I swear I cannot I cannot be alone 10/25/2015 0 Comments People I Admire: George TurnerI'm so excited to introduce you all to someone I really enjoyed talking to- George Turner! I've been following George on Instagram for a while: he travels around the world and documents his experiences and journeys through some breathtaking photos. I was a little nervous about talking to him since he has over 10k followers but he was super down-to-earth and kind. Let's meet him! How do you pick your next destination? I’m very spontaneous. Like most people I’ve got a mental list of “must-do” destinations and keep track of flight prices; if they take a dive, I book! Obviously that doesn’t really work for the super long-haul destinations, so I tend to try and dream up those dreams way in advance. Next up on my ‘big’ list is Greenland and on my ‘spontaneous’ list, Venice! What is your favorite place that you have traveled to and why? New Zealand. The connection between the people and the landscape is incredible, it transcends throughout all aspects of the various cultures and societies. Never before have I visited a country where the geography is so varied – there aren’t many places where you can surf in the morning and snowboard in the afternoon! How would you convince our generation to be less concerned with their technology and more concerned with exploring the world around them? I actually think the smart-phone generation is on the precipice of regressing – somewhat at least - back to our true ‘explorer’ selves. Weirdly, it’s the advent and growth of platforms like Instagram encouraging this. More than ever before, we’re exposed to the beauty around us from the comfort of our sofas/beds/you name it. OK, you won’t be able to visit the Grand Canyon without groups of people taking selfies, lining up the perfect Instagram shot, or biking with a GoPro but so what? So long as people are in the fresh air and seeing the world (in one way or another), then I’m good with that! What sights and/or experiences humble you and serve as a reminder of your size in comparison to the vastness of nature? I actually had an experience this year where I’ve never felt so small and vulnerable. Whilst in Iceland with friends, we were camping at the bottom of a fairly big mountain. Tired from a day’s climbing, my mates weren’t keen to climb another. Annoyingly for me, my own self-competitiveness compelled me to head up by myself. Huge mistake. Halfway up I got stuck on a very steep ridge. To my right, a sheer drop. To my left, an equally sheer drop into a glacier… no kidding. For context, I’m usually a very confident climber and I’m absolutely fine with heights but after losing my footing a few times I just had to sit and compose myself. I can actually remember thinking “George, you are a f*cking idiot” and made a promise to never underestimate Mother Nature again. Suffice to say, I went on to (SAFELY!) summit the mountain and very, very carefully came back down again. I’ve kept to my promise and I’m extra cautious now! How does going on a physical journey to somewhere new collaborate with the idea of simultaneously going on a mental or spiritual journey? This is so, so important to me. It underpins everything I do. I love immersing myself into the local cultures – in a real way, not a clichéd Lonely Planet way – and experiencing their landscape/home the same way they do. Northern Europe (especially Scandinavian countries) is amazing for this. I love the folklore and the myths; it just adds an extra layer to what you’re experiencing. On a more basic level, even if I’m in a big rush I always take time to stop and appreciate. I’ve gone as far before to say out loud: “Stop, soak this in. You’re very lucky. Remember this”. It works – I remember all of those moments and they’re very special to me. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Since you take pictures of your travels, what are some words that your pictures say for you? I always try to see things differently, reflecting my own personal experience of a place. I always try avoiding pre-planning shots as it removes the element of capturing the moment, the ACTUAL moment as I saw it. Although the ‘outside world’ might not necessarily recognize the ‘experience’, each shot is very personal to me and I love that. I believe that traveling brings out the child in an individual because he or she becomes curious about the world again. What are some other benefits of traveling? I could write an essay on this so it’s probably easiest if I say the one trait it’s given me: calmness. I’ve never felt more at ease with myself, I’ve never loved my friends and family more than I do now, and I’ve gained this amazing, deep respect for the world around me. Besides the sights, what are the best parts of traveling? Food? Culture? Other? Sharing your experience with others. Whether it’s a loved-one/partner, your best friend, or even those you meet along the way. The infamous Christopher McCandless – not long before his own death – wrote ‘happiness is only real when shared’. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of an Alpine wilderness or in the crowds of a bustling city – stick to this mantra and it’ll do wonders for you! What does it truly mean to “experience the world?” It’s getting under the skin of your surroundings. Meeting the locals, camping under the stars, swimming in the ocean/lakes/rivers, trying new foods and of course, making mistakes. There’s no singular way of experiencing a place. All the small components add up into an amazing, spectacular collective that will stay with you throughout your life! Who inspires you? Those who have fought to achieve their dreams. There’s nothing more powerful than a strong creative drive; science keeps the world spinning but art (of all forms) is what makes it so beautiful. I love learning from people who have left/are leaving their own unique stamp, something I’m always striving to do myself. If like me you can't get enough of George's insights and photos, make sure to follow him on Instagram at @georgetheexplorer.
The Night Of: Like the ground has been ripped out from under my feet I have jumped from safety To catch a Rope I let go of 2 days ago Because you shouted My name 10 worlds away And I came running Leaving my mind at home, Ecstatic to kiss wounds that haven't had time to do their damage I've been too busy stitching myself to a fork in the road To notice I've been pulling out these yards of thread when your ghost appears at night A heart that's kicked its own feelings out on the curb A lust out of control A fate that will never reveal itself I've said goodbye too many times Each time I show up at your door I promise this will be the last time I indulge myself in a newly forbidden fruit I've got rope burn as a punishment for holding on too long Still the idea of you kissing my hands as I fall asleep Isn't half bad The Day After: Today I will not use beautiful words To describe the hurt I feel I am Alone Ashamed of what I've done This boiling pot of water keeps overflowing, I can't hide I won't turn to you, Yet I won't turn away Afraid to let go Terrified to hold on Tears hardened into my empty skin Energy vacuumed out of my soul I'll be out all day on a quest to replace you I'll probably gain WEIGHT By trying to take in the world all at once The emptiness I feel inside is too heavy to carry alone I keep looking to you for answers I must find them in myself 10/24/2015 0 Comments People I Admire: Adam J. KurtzSo as you all know my first three posts have been interviews of my friends. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my friends and admire them with all my soul, but I also felt myself being called to something bigger and something greater. Some thread was pulling me out of my comfort zone and into the unfamiliar. I was blessed with the opportunity to interview Adam J. Kurtz, the author of the book that is always in stock at Urban Outfitters, 1 Page At A Time. Adam's book is an inspiration to me as a creator, an artist, and as an individual in general. I am so excited about this interview and again so grateful for the chance to connect with someone who has made such an impact in the creative world. Let's meet him! What is the importance of writing every day? A little writing or other creative exercise every day helps keep that flowing, even if you're not sure what you are making or accomplishing. It's just nice to create something new even if it doesn't seem like it needs to exist. It's good for you. Do you think that most people who use your book already consider themselves creative or are trying to reach that part of themselves? I think my book appeals to a huge range of people. I have to admit I didn't totally know what I was doing when I made it. I knew what I wanted to accomplish but I did not ever think it would be as popular as it is. I just made a nice weird thing that I liked and I'm grateful others like it too. This openness I think makes it accessible to anyone, from a seasoned artist who got it as a gift from their aunt and is like "oh great a journal wow another one" to someone who saw it at Urban Outfitters and was like "oh this seems neat" and then remembers it a month later and tries it out. Going off that question, do you think that creativity is found, made, or something someone is born with? Creativity is a part of daily life. Drawing is creative, sure, but so is picking out an outfit to wear or making a sandwich. Creativity comes in all forms. Everyone is creative in varying degrees. This is not a "oops you weren't born with it sucks to be you" sort of thing. One of your sections allows the person using the book to “check in” with how he or she has been feeling for the past few months. Is the point of this to see progress over time, become aware of patterns in one’s life, or something entirely different? It is all about growth! The whole book is about getting through a period of time that seems impossible. A huge book. A full year! It's so thick and then slowly you are on the other side. The check-ins help you take note of the things you know you would like to improve. They're for you. What difference do you want to make with this book? I just want people to find what they are looking for. Whatever you put into the book will come back to you. It's really just paper and you make it what you want. Like I say in the beginning, THIS IS JUST PAPER, and like I say at the end, THINGS ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF THEM. How did you come up with the prompts for your book? Just following my gut and writing and drawing ideas as they popped into my head. Writing lists of the things in life that make me feel good, or bad, or scared, or anxious, or "better" but not necessarily "perfect." Also real life experiences, like the taxi cab receipt or eating a tuna melt and two coffees while drawing at a diner. A huge benefit of journaling is becoming aware of what you’re thinking and feeling. Why do you think people need to be aware of these things? Our thoughts and feelings are who we are. It would be great if we all had a better idea of who we are. Simple as that. How would you change the mind of someone who says that they’re too busy to journal? I wouldn't! It's not my job to make you journal. It shouldn't be a chore. Maybe you document differently. Maybe instagram is a journal. Maybe twitter is a diary. We all preserve in different ways. The nice thing about a book is that it has a cover on it and the whole world isn't judging you instantly. One sentence in a book holds a larger context, and documenting over time creates a whole that becomes it's own object. A journal is just paper until you say it isn't. What is your favorite page of your book? I like the pages that are all alone, where the intention is just to remind you that you deserve to have space and that you are alone and it's fine. "FREE SPACE" is a cute joke to me, like the center tile on a bingo board, but also feeling free, giving yourself space, and knowing that space is yours to take. Who inspires you? Fucking everyone!!!!!!! Every day I want to make fifteen things because of a conversation, a stray tweet, a feeling or thought I had or perceived from someone else, something I wanted to say but wasn't sure how to say, or an everyday object or sign that could be art in another context. Everything is inspiring and everything can be art if you say it is. Be sure to check out Adam's Instagram where he documents his own journey through 1 Page At A Time at @1pageatatime or check out his website adamjkurtz.com/book. If after all that you're still craving more Adam you can check out his blog at jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk.com.
10/21/2015 8 Comments People I Admire: Sandra ChangSandra and I met at the very beginning of freshman year and ended up becoming so close that we are now roommates! I've always admired (and if I'm being honest- been a bit jealous) of her when it comes to social media. Sandra is a promoter for multiple companies through her Instagram @helloosandra and has over 9k followers! A lot more than my measly 600 haha. But after talking to Sandra, I realized that there is more to her job than meets the eye and remembered that there is more to someone than their IG feed. Let's meet her! Would you consider yourself IG famous? I would not consider myself IG famous in the grand scheme of things. Granted I do have more followers than the average person but I still don’t consider myself famous because there are all these 100k follower accounts that exist out there (whether it be celebrities or fashion bloggers) and it’s so inspiring and humbling to look at them. But I do consider myself more of an influential account because I get presented with certain business opportunities because of the amount of followers I have and I’m super thankful for that. What are some of your favorite Instagrams? @docaitlin @paudictado @swellmayde @eggcanvas Do you think that people value the effort that goes into IG accounts as a profession? Why or why not? I feel like a lot of people don’t realize the amount of time it takes for the start to finish progress of a picture. For a standard fashion blogger, you have to hire a photographer, get your makeup ready, have your outfits ready with the specific products you’re being sponsored with, then you have to do the shoot and have to edit photos and post them in a way that will appeal to people. There’s a lot of planning involved basically. It’s a very tedious process and most don’t realize all the effort that goes into creating that “effortless” photo. But I do feel like people appreciate these accounts because I get inspired to dress a certain way or try new places by what I see on these accounts so I think others do as well. Describe your account in a sentence My account started off as a personal Instagram account and slowly evolved into a more fashion-based account but is more recently coming back to its roots of being personal. I would say fashion is definitely still there but less fashion-content. It’s basically whatever I want haha (food, pictures with friends, etc.). Have you ever had to deal with rude followers? Um, no I have not. But I have had to deal with people taking my pictures and reposting without giving me credit. That just wasn’t a good feeling to have my work stolen. I’ve had a lot of instances that I’ve had to deal with that but it wasn’t a big deal. I would say that the majority of my followers that I don’t know in real life are very supportive and very sweet. Why do you think Instagram is so popular nowadays? It’s not just to post what you do on a day-to-day basis. A lot of people use it for self-validation, and not many are immune to that in our generation. It’s a great platform to be able to express yourself and your creativity. It’s also a really good way for people to connect and find a sense of community that they can’t find somewhere else. Do you think social media is an accurate representation of someone’s personality? Can’t people skew/censor their lives to only show the good things? No it’s not a completely accurate portrayal of someone’s life or someone’s personality. It’s merely a display of their highlight reel. I think people often tend to forget that social media is very deceiving and that it doesn’t capture anyone’s not-so-great moments that they’d rather the world wouldn’t see. It’s important to keep that in perspective when you find yourself comparing your life to others through social media. After all, you pretty much only post things you want people to see and you can craft an image for yourself that isn’t necessarily true to who you are. What’s something that a follower wouldn’t know about you from your IG? They wouldn’t know that I’m actually kind of a shy and reserved person. I think from my IG it seems like I’m always out there doing things and am outgoing but I’m actually pretty down-to-earth and a quiet person. I feel like people wouldn’t get that just from judging my Instagram. Who inspires you? My parents are an inspiration to me because they’re the most hardworking and driven individuals I know. I think it’s incredibly admirable that they’re the only ones from their respective families to have immigrated to America. Knowing that they built up such successful careers here and started fresh with no one in this new country to support them just really inspires me and serves as a reminder to always do my very best. I put myself through a lot of pressure because I want to succeed and be able to give back to them someday because they’ve given me so much and I wouldn’t be where I am without their support. Just knowing that I could have had a very different life in Taiwan makes me all the more thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given here and inspires me to work ten times harder. Remember to check out Sandra's personal account at @helloosandra for more cute pictures and inspiration!
10/19/2015 1 Comment People I Admire: Angela LanarisAngela and I went to high school together and were privileged enough to star in our school's production of Grease together. I was Sandy and she was ChaCha, so technically we were supposed to be enemies, but we ended up bonding over food, boys, and a love for the arts. I've always admired Angela. She has an extremely healthy lifestyle, a passion for dancing and acting, a talent for modeling, a mission to heal the world, and a humble and kind personality to match. Let's meet her! What is the goal of your blog? Are you doing it more as a way to keep track of things or are you doing it for an audience? My goal is to inspire anyone who comes across it to have a different perspective, feel empowered and simply learn to love themselves and live their best lives. I love to use my blog as a way to connect with other like-minded people and get my voice out there. I definitely use it as both a mini journal of my thoughts, experiences and reflections and if that means gaining an audience from that, then great! I definitely try to focus on my message more so than “followers” or “fame.” Describe some difficulties you’ve faced as an old soul living in a technological age I’ve always had a difficult time growing up with my generation. I’ve never been into drinking heavily, partying, gossiping or cliques. However, this is not to say that any of those things are “wrong” or “bad,” they just simply do not resonate with me. I find myself a lot happier when I’m on my own, or in extremely small groups having inspiring, soulful conversations. I live off of that. It’s been difficult to own who I am and what I stand for, without feeling I have to dumb myself down and blend in. I’ve always felt different growing up and certainly never fit in, but I’m learning to embrace what makes me unique instead of hiding it. I’m also learning that everybody becomes recharged, inspired and happy by different things. If that means you feel your best getting super drunk and going to the club, DO IT! DO YOU! But if you find just as much pleasure sitting at home on a friday night reading and watching movies alone, DO THAT TOO! It’s all about sticking to what makes you feel your best and not being ashamed. What is your motivation for eating healthy? Is it more to look good or feel good? Which do you think the general population cares about most? My number one motivation to eat healthy is to feel my absolute best. If I am not fueling my body with the proper nutrients it needs, I can’t function properly. I need my fruits and veggies to feel clear headed, inspired and happy! However, it’s never a bad thing to eat healthier to look better. It’s okay to care about the way you look! I think people put so much pressure on themselves to not care, but deep down they do and it causes a whole negative inner dialogue. I think if you have an equal balance between looking good and wanting to feel your best, instead of obsessing over one or the other, that’s when you will find peace with your body and your relationship to food. What are your guilty pleasures if you have any? Oh I have many guilty pleasures. Peanut butter---lots of it, cookies or a hundred bowls of cereal in one sitting haha. If you had to only have a healthy mind, body, or spirit, which would you have? Which one of these three do you think people prioritize most? If I could only choose one, it would be a healthy spirit. My spiritual life is something I try to cater to most because it fuels everything. I think eating well and thinking good thoughts adds to the process of overall becoming a better person, but if you aren’t in tune with your SOUL it’s impossible to be in tune with anything or anyone else. I think society definitely places a lot of emphasis on an individual's body and looking good, which again, isn’t necessarily BAD. I just think our society needs more BALANCE. Nothing is going to resolve itself in this world without balance. Has your environment affected your creativity? Where do you feel most creative? Living in New York definitely has aided me in becoming more in touch with my creativity, however, I do not think my environment affects me too much. For me personally, it’s all about meditating, going into a receptive mode, and waiting for the right time to create content. Typically, this is first thing in the morning while sipping on my cup of coffee or late at night. I’ll just start typing my reflections or thoughts and BAM I’ll have a blog and/or instagram post. What is a lesson that you want to impart to the future generation? Oh goodness this is a hard question. I guess my ULTIMATE calling, to summarize my purest intention in this life, is to help others be the best version of themselves. I believe we all have SO much incredible potential and we all have so much to offer, and I love feeling like I can empower others to be the person they’ve always dreamed of being. What are you most passionate about? I am most passionate about connecting with people. Period. It’s the source of everything I do in my life. I live to form connections and learn from others…..to listen, to experience and to love. I am a people person! (To an extent, I’m also such an introvert haha) Why do you dance? Why do you act? Are the two connected/similar and how? I dance because I love movement, rhythm and music. I love feeling powerful in my body and using it to convey a specific emotion or intention. I also LOVE performing so much. One of my favorite things about dance is when I put my heart and soul into a piece of work, and someone will come up to me after a performance saying that I’ve made them feel something. It’s exciting that I can connect and move people through my work! In regards to acting, it’s very similar to dance but simply a different form of expression. Growing up I did acting here and there and I knew in my heart I was going to return back to it eventually. Dance has given me everything, but acting allows me to be FULLY ANGELA LANARIS. I love to move but I also love using my VOICE. I love being able to experience real life situations and play pretend. Everything I am learning in my training in acting all applies to spirituality and real life, so inevitably I am falling more and more in love with the craft. I am absolutely in love with both dance and theatre, I could rant about it for hours. But ultimately I am so humbled and blessed to know my calling at such a young age and I cannot wait to see where it takes me. Who inspires you? My mother and grandmother inspire me the most. They are the reason I am who I am today. They never pushed anything on me growing up, and they gave me the freedom to find who I was without telling me who I should be. They kindly introduced spirituality into my life, which is why I am so passionate about it today. My mother, specifically, always knew I had a lot to offer. At a young age, she bought me books on acting instinctively knowing I was going to pursue it eventually. She continues to buy me books on spirituality, shows me healthy things to eat and is constantly finding ways to help further my career and passions in any way she can. She was the reason I ended up attending Mid-pacific, because she knew I deserved to go to a private arts school, even when my father didn’t think I would get a scholarship and I did. She always saw the best in me which is why I’ve learned to see the best in myself and not be ashamed of it. My grandmother is my second mom and soul mate, I do not know what I would do with her. These two woman are my rocks, I could not be anymore thankful for their presence and power in my life. Check out Angela's blog at angelalanaris.com or follow her personal Instagram account for some daily inspiration at @angelalanaris. I know it always motivates me to see other powerful women living healthy and inspiring others, maybe it'll help you too!
10/18/2015 0 Comments People I Admire: Mehana Lee I'm starting a new project, fueled by the idea of HONY, where I interview people that inspire me. I am constantly inspired and in awe of the world around me and I want to share the passion and wisdom I gather from friends and nature with you all. The first person I interviewed is my friend Mehana. She is from Maui and we've just started hanging out but we share similar values and passions for waking up early and being grandmas. Both of Mehana's parents are flight attendants and so she has been blessed with the opportunity to travel- a craving I have that never seems to be satiated. She also recently started her own company Dear Women where she sells handmade jewelry and gives some of the profits to organizations to help women in need. Let's meet her! What is your favorite place that you have traveled to? Italy, specifically Rome. I know it is really touristy but it was amazing seeing everything in person. What are the benefits of traveling? How does it help you grow as a person? Traveling alone is really beneficial because you learn a lot about yourself when you’re put in unfamiliar places. It teaches you more confidence when you’re able to navigate through somewhere that is not home. I just think you’re just more sure of yourself. Like when we did that road trip and planned it all by ourselves, it was just very empowering. If I can do this, I can do so many other things. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? I really want to go to Copenhagen. It’s just a really different place than America. The people are different. It’s socialist and I feel like it would be really cool to experience something like that. Also there’s this restaurant Noma that I want to go to: it’s rated the #1 restaurant in the world. That’s definitely on my bucketlist. Where is one place that you definitely want to return to? Austin, Texas. I didn’t think I’d like Texas that much but that was one of my favorite places I visited on our cross-country trip. I wouldn’t mind living there. Where do you consider to be your home? My home is technically Maui but I feel like I’m at home when I’m far away from home- when I’m somewhere new and experiencing something new. That’s the place that I feel most comfortable. So I guess just traveling makes me feel at home and reminds me of who I am as a person and I think that’s what home is supposed to remind you of. What is the mission statement/goal of Dear Women? I started off with it not really having this grand plan. To put it in the most simple terms, it’s just to help people that are less fortunate than me. So yeah. I think the goal is just to make a difference in someone’s life, whether that’s one person or a lot of people, I just want it to have some sort of positive impact on people. How long have you been making jewelry? I used to make jewelry when I was young, like 10, because my dad’s ex-wife had her own jewelry line. Only recently, like the beginning of August, I started again. I don’t have a lot of experience. Who do you write for? I mostly write for myself because I never thought that people would actually read it. But now that I see that I’m getting feedback from people my age, I’m trying to relate it more to people in their 20s who are trying to get their lives together like I am. Would you consider yourself comfortable in your own skin? Tough question. I’d like to say yes but I know that I’m honestly not there yet. I think…I feel like after the breakup, I lost a lot of self-esteem. I felt bad about myself, which is how you feel after any crappy thing happens in your life. But starting these projects has helped me find my worth and gain more confidence in myself and has shown me that I can do things that are bigger than just me. What is a lesson you could impart to the next generation from your experiences? Just take time to be completely okay with yourself and by yourself. And don’t try to complete yourself by having someone else in your life. You have to be complete and okay with yourself. Who inspires you? Definitely my parents because they have just been a really—they’ve been my rock…and I don’t know. They’ve just encouraged me to do everything that I’m passionate about and not once have they stopped believing in me. That’s pretty inspiring. My other inspiration is my cousin Pi’i. She reminds me to be free and love what you do and to just be in love with your life, because that’s something that we forget a lot. It’s simple but you forget that a lot. Check out her recounting over her travels at http://abroad-spectrum.weebly.com and follow her company's progress at @dear.women or follow her personal instagram account at @mehanalee
10/11/2015 0 Comments Weekly GoalsI found myself this summer and lost myself so quickly once school started. I prioritized the wrong people, the wrong things, and threw away all the progress I made. But guess what? I'm back. Goodbye to nights spent waiting around and hello to growing into the best person I can be. Every week I'm going to set a goal for myself and I'm so excited to be happy again.
This week I focused on my mental health and journaled everyday. It was such a great experience and really helped me to be aware of what I was feeling and experiencing throughout the day. It also proved to be helpful for when I wanted to look back and see if there were any patterns in how I was getting stressed or how often I was eating chocolate, so I could make some judgments and (later) decisions about my life. This next week I'm going to be focusing on spiritual health, which means that I will worship, pray, read a sacred passage, go to service, meditate, or connect with a celestial force every day of the week. I know this is going to be difficult since I have midterms, meetings, work, and a concert this week-- but I'm determined that this will give me a breath of fresh air in a life that is moving way too fast and way too slow at the same time. I encourage you all to follow me on my journey and keep up with my weekly goals! Comment below with any other ideas of ways you can grow as a person. 10/11/2015 0 Comments Because I Couldn't Tell YouBecause I couldn’t tell you,
I stayed dredged in mud Wiping off my love for you in the shower I hid my scarlet letter Because I couldn’t tell you, I pushed shooting stars away And drove adoring princes back Because I couldn’t tell you, We spent time entangled in each other’s lives We spent these months pushing and pulling, But I was the only one moving at the end of night Tides ebbing and flowing, And I never learned to swim Because I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t tell myself I ate my disdain for dinner And swallowed my love for lunch Choking on a break-up for breakfast All because I couldn’t tell you |