5/16/2016 0 Comments #NAKEDME“One of the happiest times I had was when I went to Tahiti over spring break. On our last day there my mom took us on a boat excursion to swim with sharks and stingrays, And I thought I would be really scared, But when I got in the water it was so calming and I felt totally at peace. Something that I thought was scary or terrifying was actually one of the happiest moments in my life.” “This past week my dog that I had for 14 years passed away. I had her since I was six and my mom got her for me because I’m an only child, So my dog kind of became my sibling. She was a huge part of my life even though she was tiny and a dog haha, But losing her was really hard, it was like losing a child or a sibling.” “The last time I felt really exposed was in my last relationship. I’ve always been afraid of letting my guard down. It’s scary to feel vulnerable and out there but he encouraged me to do that, Because it’s healthy to feel vulnerable and be honest with yourself and people that are important to you. So yeah I just completely opened up to this person And it was honestly a huge learning lesson to me in who I am and what I value and what I’m passionate about." "This year I realized that I am so proud of the different nationalities that I’m made up of and how I identify myself as a person through that. I am Hawaiian, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Portuguese, German, English, Dutch, and French. Being away from home has made me so much more proud of being Hawaiian, And I’m sad that I took that for granted when I was home. You don’t realize how important that is when you’re there, But being here it’s helped me to identify myself more with different people, And connect more with others cause we have that same common background" “I’m ashamed of not being fully confident when I don’t wear makeup. Like I’m not the type of person who will take 2 hours to get ready in the morning and put a full face on, But I have to put on at least mascara and do my eyebrows and put on lipgloss and have my hair somewhat done, And I feel like you’re not fully able to appreciate yourself or love yourself, If you can’t accept what you look like w/o makeup or w/o your hair done. So I’ve been trying to work on that but it’s hard because I feel exposed and I don’t like that.” “I get really irritated and angry when people underestimate my strength. Because of my appearances people will tell me you’re so cute you’re not powerful as a woman, And it’s just so crazy that people think like that. In one of my jobs I have to answer phones and multiple times people have asked me if I'm qualified because I have a high voice, Or they'll ask to talk to my supervisor. And I get offended by that because it's very degrading. People shouldn't question my level of expertise just because I sound younger or look younger or am a woman. People judge your experience on things based off of what they hear or what they see. I just don’t like it when people don’t take me seriously." “One of my favorite authors is Anthony Bourdain. I have all of his books. I don’t know a lot about the culinary world, But I love his sarcasm and his wittiness and I admire a sinsister type of writing. I've always wanted to write like that." “I'm scared of dying alone, Like just being in that situation where I know I’m going to die and not having anyone around me. That’s a pretty scary thought. My other fear is my biggest fear cause it's inevitable, But I am so afraid of the day that both of my parents are gone, Because I am so close with them and they are literally everything to me. Just being able to mvoe forward after that is a very scary thought." “I wish that I wouldn’t compare myself so much to other people. I wish that I could be careless and do my own thing and be proud of what I do, But I’m always comparing myself to friends, colleagues, classmates, family, and even people I don't know, And that comes in conflict with me doing what I'm doing. It's toxic." “I’ve been planning my next tattoo since my cross country road trip last year. Pretty much everywhere we drove, there were always these fields of wild flowers, And it was so beautiful because it was in the middle of nowhere, And here were these vibrant and crazy flowers. So I want to get a bouquet of wildflowers from places that I am fond of, Like a California poppy and something from Hawaii, And I want it to be tied with a string so that it's a reminder, Like how you tie a string on your finger so you never forget something. I never want to forget to grow free and wild and to find beauty in unexpected places. On top of that I want to get honeybees surrounding the bouquet because my mom and I are obsessed with honeybees.” "I love my ability to feel everything I experience deeply and fully.
It's both a blessing and a curse, but I've learned to love it and appreciate it so much, Because everything in my life is vivid. Feeling everything down to my core and my soul is something that I wouldn't trade for anything!"
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